Stressed into Indifference

by S.J.W.

Ever had a bunch of events dumped into your life at once? Some of which good, most of which bad?  Usually a carefree, chipper individual, the immense amount of stress I have been subdued to as of late has made me very indifferent.  Not at the peak of “idc” but also not at the peak of “shrug”.  Just indifferent.

They say the world is survival of the fittest, well, I’ve been pudgy all my life and although I lost the baby phat from high school (along with the attire) I am still no one’s track star, unless of course, I am running to get the last cookie on the stove.  Does this mean I am destined to mourn and feel blah, every time something comes up in my life? No.  I have to learn how to evolve, roll with the punches and in a nut shell, suck it up.  It’s often hard when someone tells you to get over it although, because some things, you just can’t get over and it takes time and much prayer.

I’m currently battling with feeling like I’m not doing enough, a form of being stagnant.  My pet peeves have always been a purposeless man/woman, an oblivious adult, a naive child and a unmotivated student.  Within a matter of two weeks, I have experienced each of those pleasantries. -_-  In life, when things don’t go according to plan, we are always prefaced for that day, but it never fails, we’re always ill-prepared.  As was I.

Dreams of stardom and fame, “you’re the next Oprah”, “you’re gonna be famous”, arriving closer to graduation, I realized, not only was I not on my way to stardom but I was neither on my way to a career.  No money, no fame, no fortune.

Although I bounced back from minor/major setbacks, it’s kind of like being resuscitated back to life, it takes a while to get the pep back in your step.  We are all too familiar with stress and the debris it leaves behind.  But my goal is to not let it take me down completely.  It’s ok to be stressed, at times indifferent, but always catch yourself before it’s too late.