Stressed into Indifference

Ever had a bunch of events dumped into your life at once? Some of which good, most of which bad?  Usually a carefree, chipper individual, the immense amount of stress I have been subdued to as of late has made me very indifferent.  Not at the peak of “idc” but also not at the peak of “shrug”.  Just indifferent.

They say the world is survival of the fittest, well, I’ve been pudgy all my life and although I lost the baby phat from high school (along with the attire) I am still no one’s track star, unless of course, I am running to get the last cookie on the stove.  Does this mean I am destined to mourn and feel blah, every time something comes up in my life? No.  I have to learn how to evolve, roll with the punches and in a nut shell, suck it up.  It’s often hard when someone tells you to get over it although, because some things, you just can’t get over and it takes time and much prayer.

I’m currently battling with feeling like I’m not doing enough, a form of being stagnant.  My pet peeves have always been a purposeless man/woman, an oblivious adult, a naive child and a unmotivated student.  Within a matter of two weeks, I have experienced each of those pleasantries. -_-  In life, when things don’t go according to plan, we are always prefaced for that day, but it never fails, we’re always ill-prepared.  As was I.

Dreams of stardom and fame, “you’re the next Oprah”, “you’re gonna be famous”, arriving closer to graduation, I realized, not only was I not on my way to stardom but I was neither on my way to a career.  No money, no fame, no fortune.

Although I bounced back from minor/major setbacks, it’s kind of like being resuscitated back to life, it takes a while to get the pep back in your step.  We are all too familiar with stress and the debris it leaves behind.  But my goal is to not let it take me down completely.  It’s ok to be stressed, at times indifferent, but always catch yourself before it’s too late.

10 Reasons to Start Something New

10: You’re bored

9: You’re having a quarter-life crisis

8: Everyone else is doing it

7: It’s a current trending topic on twitter

6: You feel incomplete

5: You want to live with no regrets

4: You always act on impulse

3: You have 24 hours to live

2: You’d rather live virtually than vicariously

1: No one can stop you

New Beginning

Lately, I’ve been compelled to try new things.  Maybe it’s the “post-grad” syndrome.  While in college, we’re often occupied by school, bombarded by responsibilities and caught between social activities that we don’t really have time to explore outside our normal element of living.  They say college is about experimentation, -_- the nonPG version, but really we get into the same cycle of things we’re comfortable with, we just elevate our experimentation of that particular comfort each time.  The first time we drink one beer, then the next time, we’ll try three.  Same scenario, new experimentation.

But post-grad life, is very mundane.  We’re bombarding by economic responsibilities but our minds are no longer fed with substance.  Again, we sneak into the area of comfort.  Wake up, work, eat, pay bills, sleep, read a newspaper, occasional happy hour, significant other, repeat.  Our minds and hearts cry out for entertainment, but the safe kind.  We want adventure, but the mature kind.  We want exploration, but within reason.  What exactly do we want?  I want a new beginning.

I refuse to believe that college years were my best years.  Although they were great and I would never trade them, I’d like to think I have a lot more to live and to think that everything goes down hill from here, depresses me just a little.  With that being said, I’ve been on a quest for new and intriguing things to fulfill my mental with.  However, with search and quest, there is always trouble and mischief.  Too old to fall into mischief, I am often stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Where can a sensible adult, who’s tired of making the same mistakes, too smart to backtrack, too composed to be easily entertained and too involved to enjoy simplicities,  find new beginnings? Create them.

Just as I have done with this blog.  I only thought blogs were cliche efforts to share your opinions about fashion and what happened in your life that day.  In brief, yes those are forms of blogs.  However, they can also share pieces of your heart and soul, in which you intend to inspire others, while growing through them, with the watering of your spirit with input and reflection.

This blog is not my new beginning, but it is definitely an aspect of different things I want to start doing.  It will document my journey to new findings, new intrigues, new problems, etc that come into this thing called my life.  With each new beginning, I’m taking it one step at a time.